Some of my friends have stopped telling me about their latest diet. I get it – I am often on my pedestal ranting about how diets don’t work and how they just restrict, and cause bingeing and we should all just love our bodies. I get that sometimes I rant too much, and they don’t want to hear it anymore.
Part of me thinks this is great – I no longer have to hear stories of how constipated my friend is because she has been forcing herself to live off disgusting shakes for weeks on end. I don’t have to hear how my friend fainted the other night because she decided to start fasting, and started with a 20hr fast. I don’t have to hear about how my friend almost got hit by a car because she was so hungry she in a brain fog and didn’t see the red light.
I know it’s still happening out there though. I see it when friends catch up and their first comments are about how much weight they have lost. It’s brushed off with a wave and a “I still have 5more to go” comment.
How did we get here?
When I walk into a café to meet you, my friend, for a coffee I can promise you that I will never comment on your weight, or your physical appearance (unless you have grown a tail – that surely requires a high five!). I will tell you that your clothes look fabulous, and I will tell you that your hair is shining, and your eyes are sparkling but I will never say you are looking slim, or ask about your weight. Instead of seeing your weight I see the smart person that you are, I see the beautiful friend, sister, aunt, daughter, wife that you are. I see the beautiful mum that you are to your children, and I see the inspiration that you give so many by just being you. I see the strength that you have to climb mountains, care for loved ones, overcome challenges, hike through the bush, start running, start swimming – write a book!
I will ask you if you are happy, I will ask you if you are healthy and I will give you a big hug (covid restrictions permitting) because we all deserve a damn big hug from our friends! If you are not happy or healthy, I want you to tell me so that I can be there to support you, whatever that looks like.
When you wake up this morning, think about how much you love your friends, how they inspire you, how they challenge you, how none of that has anything to do with what they weigh. Instead of getting on the scales this morning, dance naked in front of the mirror and appreciate your beautiful body for all that it does and accept that it’s just a body. The magic is in the head and the heart.
Keep being my beautiful friend.
Photo Credit: Nathan Dumloa @unsplash
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